just like their love
 
i remember
church
felt like a funeral for
my joy,
the only part i liked
was the singing;

but it didn't feel like a
community so much as it 
felt like everyone was waiting for you to 
make a mistake so they could judge
you for it—

when i realized i wasn't straight,
i prayed and begged and pleaded but
my prayers were never answered as
i searched for answers in stained glass
windows;

and i began to question everything—

if a loving creator made us in Their image,
then why would i be punished for being
who i was created to be; why would i
be an abomination just for existing?

why did purity matter and why did victim
blaming exist?

i lost my faith because i saw the lack
of humanity,
and through the nice smiles because
nice is fake and an illusion;
just like their love.

---

Linda M. Crate (she/her) is a Pennsylvanian writer whose works have been published widely both online and in print. She has twelve published poetry chapbooks, the latest being: Searching Stained Glass Windows For An Answer (Alien Buddha Press, December 2022).