the first girl
 
when i lost my fear of hellfire,
i found my place;
found that my love for you
wasn't impure or dirty or wrong
it simply was love—

& i am sorry i could never 
tell you that i loved you,
but i was too afraid;

i didn't know how to say it
because i knew you didn't feel the same—

your beauty still dances across
my memories,
so thank you for being a part of my life;
i am sorry i drove you away because i think
you were someone i was never meant
to lose—

i doubt i drift upon your focus anymore,
but when pink sunsets drift warm and dreamy
upon my skin or i see white roses i think of you:
the first girl i fell in love with.

Linda M. Crate (she/her) is a Pennsylvanian writer whose works have been published widely both online and in print. She has twelve published poetry chapbooks, the latest being: Searching Stained Glass Windows For An Answer (Alien Buddha Press, December 2022).